Thursday, July 07, 2016

Are you wearing panties?

I guess by now unless you’re dead, Amish, or living on another planet you’ve heard about Britney Spears a few years back running around without her panties.  Apparently she is not alone as several others have been photographed also without attire down under.

I’m a man who, like all men, is clueless when it comes to women.  Okay, nothing new there.  This latest trend has me totally perplexed.  To be honest, I am just coming to terms with the thong era… and don’t get me started on the new craze of setting your table as it was so eloquently referred to in the movie, The Break Up, with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn.  For those of you who missed it… let’s just say it involves waxing… everything.  Can we say pain?  I don’t know how you women put yourselves through what you do for us guys.

Getting back to panties… what’s the deal here?  I remember a Friends episode a few years back when there was a running joke started about going commando.  Personally, I would have to be pretty desperate to do this.  There isn’t a guy anywhere who saw the movie, Something About Mary, who didn’t wince in pain when Ben Stiller’s character got himself caught in his zipper.  I still have nightmares about it.  That is one area men don’t even want to think about pain, much less experience it.

I’m trying to figure this out logically.  Is it more comfortable?  Is it that you don’t have to worry about your panties riding up in places you don’t want them?  Is it just cooler?  Do you need faster access just in case you want a quickie?  Do you want the comfort of knowing if you’re in an accident you won’t have to worry about having on clean underwear… because you’re not wearing any?  C’mon ladies, I need some help here.  Educate me.  It also seems to me if you’re a celebrity like Britney who can’t blow her nose without paparazzi photographing… it might cross your mind that a camera might be nearby aimed and ready.  If you further complicate things by wearing a short skirt, it stands to logic something might decide to say howdy when you’re trying to get out of a car.

Personally, I hope it’s a trend that’s short lived.  I can’t think of anything sexier on a woman than the undergarments she chooses to wear.  Nor can I think of anything more gratifying for a man than to be given the privilege of taking them off. 

Don’t spoil that for either of us.


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