Nobody parks anymore

I grew up in a rural community which is the educated way someone from there avoids saying,

"From the sticks."

And sticks it was... And for the most part still is. With no cable, playstations, or cellphones to keep us company we made our own entertainment. In other words, we picked up our girl, put Bob Seger in the 8-track, found a place to park and worked on our, uh, Night Moves!

While we're on the subject... When did oral sex become just another base before home? Where the hell was I when this rule went into effect? I never got the memo. Where does it fall on the baseball diamond? Did it replace third base? Is it between third and home? Who writes these rules anyway?

I can hear it now...

"I'm sorry Johnny, I'm saving myself for marriage."
Johnny looks away dejected.
"I'll blow you though."
Johnny's eyes light up.

Kids today don't park. It's not that they don't screw around as much as we did... They're just too lazy to do it. They would rather forego all decency and inhibition and screw on someone's sofa while their friends played video games, got high, or watched TV in the room next door or worse yet... In the same room.

Personally I think they're missing out by not parking. As a teen you haven't lived until the local law shines their flashlight through your car window while you're, uh, busy.

My wife and I don't park anymore either. When you're a teenager and get caught, most of the time you're just sent home with a lecture. When you're 43 and get caught, you end up having to call your kids to make bail.