Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Hey, They're Gay and They're Married!

So much is being written these days about gay marriage I feel compelled to throw my proverbial two-cents in. Is it right? Is it wrong? Is it disgusting? Blah, Blah, Blah. My response?

Who Cares?

Call me queer in my thinking but it seems to me the people the most upset over the possibility of homosexuals marrying are the same ones who could give a rip about marriage anyway. From the cheap seats this group seems to include most heterosexuals.

I'm not sure when it happened but somewhere in the post-Vietnam era the sanctity of marriage became a joke that is still running today. To quote Benny Hill, "Take my wife... please."

It's no longer, who are you married to? It's... Who are you married to right now?

Marriages between two bodies, one of whom is capable of spitting seeds and the other capable of catching them are happening at the drop of a Vegas Elvis tune and ending just as fast. Besides, as many couples are learning, the advantages to not tying the knot far outweigh the advantages to tying the knot.

The very government that wants you to marry makes it far more attractive to stay single and live in sin.

Let's say you're a single mother. There are government programs that will provide food, healthcare, assistance with living expenses, and money for college. Why would you want to marry and screw that up? Marry and any chance you have of furthering your education might go out the window along with the other government perks.

Besides, few marriages stand the test of time anymore. It would be almost refreshing to see some gay couples break this trend. Unfortunately, I suspect that within a few years they'll be just like their heterosexual counterparts. There will be a new crop of lawyers specializing in gay divorces. Hmm, I wonder if gay divorce will get as dirty as heterosexual? Maybe they'll be nicer.

"You take the house."
"NO, you take the house."


The majority of people who stay married these days do so because of children, debt, abuse... Or they're just too damn lazy to do otherwise. There are a few of us breaking that trend but even in my case it took three tries. Everyday we stay together I figure we're beating the odds.

I guess if you love someone and they love you, the marriage certificate is little more than a piece of paper with both your names on it. If you really need that piece of paper to fill accepted by society as a couple it makes little difference to me what your sex is.

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